Fear: I won’t meet the requirements of my chosen country.
Reality: The requirements are not so bad, and there are many ways to work within them. For example, choosing a child from the Special Needs list or a Waiting Child (usually a little older, or with a need that may be scary to some, but your family could be specially equipped to deal with). These needs range from minor, medically correctible to major. Which leads me to…
Fear: I could never handle a Special Needs adoption.
Reality: Not true. Can you handle a Cleft Palate? Can you handle a Club Foot? Then you can handle a special need. I feel obligated to warn you, though, that God will melt your heart. We began looking for a minor, medically correctible need. Through a series of emotional conversations and much prayer, God changed our hearts on this. He showed us that there are millions of orphans out there who are deemed undesirable by the world for their needs which they have absolutely no control over. God made them, as imperfect as they are, and He made us, with all our imperfections and failures. He loves us. We can love them.
Fear: Homestudy. Enough said.
Reality: Yes, it is stressful. Yes, you will clean places in your home that haven’t seen the light of day in years. On the plus side, you will finally organize your closet and your junk drawer! Then when your social worker comes to chat and does a totally unobtrusive walk through and is complimentary of your home, you will think this is all there is to it?! Really, you can do this. I won’t lie, the homestudy process is stressful, and I was so glad when it was over, but when done correctly it is a valuable time to talk over every facet of adoption and homelife with a caring professional who will walk you through it all.
Fear: Expense.
Reality: Never in our married life have we had $40,000 laid up in the bank, begging to be spent on adoption. When we talked adoption early in our marriage, this was the hurdle we couldn’t imagine overcoming. However, when we decided to take this leap of faith, God chose to shower us in his faithfulness. I got a job of sorts tutoring 7th grade boys. I made necklaces, and they sold like hotcakes. God blessed my artwork, and it sold. We reprioritized and made cuts, so that the majority of Jeff’s bonuses could go in the fund. We sold t-shirts. We had a yard sale and bake sale that turned into a mammoth event, with our whole church involved, and it alone raised $6,000! We are still at least 5 months from travel, and we have less than half the money left to raise!
Fear: I will not be able to love an adopted child in the same way I love my biological ones.
Reality: Love is boundless and uncontrollable and wonderful and unexplainable. Love expands and multiplies, and the second we saw our daughter’s face, I could feel it budding. As we prayed over whether she was the one for us, it was burgeoning, wanting to grow. When we said yes, we shed tears over the explosion of love we felt in our hearts. Friends, we haven’t even seen her face to face, yet we love our Lily so much. When there are warm hands and soft cheeks and sweet smells and laughter to go along with her darling face, how much more will our love grow?
Bottom Line: It is scary to step out on faith and follow God’s calling to love the orphan. But it is worth it. Love is always worth it.
